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By Karmyn Jones
In November, I wrote about how I was doing everything I could to avoid thinking about graduation. At that time, it felt far enough away that I could push it to the back of my mind and deal with it later. Now, it’s almost here.
Somewhere between my last first day of classes and realizing how few assignments I actually have left, it all started to feel real. Not in a dramatic, life-altering way but in small, quiet ways. Sitting in classrooms that I won’t be in a few months and even just walking around campus and thinking, “I won’t be here much longer.” It feels like everything is the same, but also completely different.
Back in November, I wrote about how scared I was to leave, especially knowing I wouldn’t be going back to something familiar. That part hasn’t changed. If anything, it feels more real now. The fear isn’t just hypothetical anymore. It’s attached to actual decisions and an actual ending. I can’t pretend that I have endless time left here, because I don’t.
When I first wrote that blog, I think my fear came from not wanting things to change at all and
not knowing what came next. I wanted to hold onto what was comfortable and familiar, even
though I had already outgrown parts of it. Now, I’m starting to realize that it’s not about stopping
change, it’s about learning how to grow with it. I still don’t feel ready (and I don’t know if I ever
will), but I feel more aware of what this moment actually means.
I’ve also started noticing things I didn’t pay attention to before. The routines that once felt
ordinary now feel important. The people I see every day and the places I go without thinking are
the things I’m going to miss the most. It’s not just the big moments that made this chapter
meaningful, but all the small ones I didn’t realize were shaping my experience.
It’s weird to think that just a few months ago, I was trying so hard not to think about any of this.
Avoiding it felt easier. But now that I’m here, I understand why I couldn’t avoid it forever. This
isn’t just an ending, it’s a transition I have to actually experience, not just think about from a
distance.
I still feel scared. I still feel sad. But I also feel something I didn’t expect: a sense of acceptance.
I now have clarity about what comes next, and that brings me comfort.
In November, I said I was ready to embrace change, even though I wasn’t sure I believed it.
Now, I think it’s less about being ready and more about being willing. Willing to leave, willing to
grow, and willing to step into something unknown, even if I wish I could stay just a little bit
longer.
Karmyn is a McConnell Scholar at the University of Louisville in the class of 2026. She is studying neuroscience and political science.