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By Emily Bevins
Whenever I ever need a pick-me-up, the movie “10 Things I Hate About You” is my immediate go-to. It’s got everything I could possibly need—an impromptu song and dance number, a cute paintball date, and 1990s nostalgia. With Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles giving it their all, it’s easy to forget that the rom-com is actually a modern adaptation of Shakespeare’s “Taming of the Shrew.” The movie’s title comes from a scene at the end where Julia Stiles’ character reads a poem about how much she hates Heath Ledger with the twist that she hates most that she doesn’t hate him at all. It’s always bugged me that the poem she recites isn’t written as a Shakespearean sonnet. So, I fixed that.
Reasons to Hate Adonis
I hate the way your emerald eyes shine,
And how they bend my will to their desire.
A speck mocks me saying, “You are not mine.”
And still, one glance adorns my heart in fire.
I hate the way you give off warmth like its
Your right to be my Sun. I did not know
That heat could pierce my soul and feel like this—
I miss the winter nights I spent alone.
I hate the way you’re always right, and more
When I am not. Knowledge abounds inside
Your mind. And yet, you know nothing before
It’s told to you, as all my clues have tried.
I hate, the most, the way you make me care
About this lonely, little love affair.
Emily Bevins is a McConnell Scholar in the class of 2024. She studies political science, English, and history at the University of Louisville.