On Nostalgia

 By Ozy Anyanwu

I have been thinking a lot about nostalgia lately. I’m not sure what brought it on; maybe it's because I’m a junior/upperclassman and I’m starting to think about my post-grad plans. What life looks like after college. Being in such a major life transition, entering my twenties and leaving my teens behind, has triggered an emotion that never leaves me. Nostalgia is a constant companion. Is it weird to feel so nostalgic in your twenties? Imagine how I’ll feel when I’m fifty. I read an opinion piece once that said, “For many college students, nostalgia isn’t about being stuck in the past; it’s about surviving a present that feels too uncertain, overwhelming, and loaded with expectations about what these years are supposed to be like.” I could not relate to this quote more. Something about college makes you so aware of time. Every semester offers a different experience, a different emotion, and the knowledge that it will not come back.  

I catch myself returning to my own memories quite a bit. I often look back at old photos from middle school when life felt so uncomplicated. I’ll think about Disney Channel shows and how my sisters and I would watch the new episodes of Austin & Ally every Wednesday night. I’ll walk past Kurz Hall and think about all the memories of my freshman year of college that defined my “first year.” I’ll smell saltwater and think about going to Tybee Island with my mom and sisters and never wanting to leave. For a long time, I associated nostalgia with loss. 

However, throughout this thought process, I have realized that nostalgia is about meaning. We long for the moments of life that mattered and meant something. I see this lesson profoundly through my grandmother, who recently turned 96. I have been so fortunate to have had so much time with her. Imagine how many memories can fit in almost a century of life. As she has grown older, some memories have been more difficult to hold on to. However, though some memories may not be accessible to her anymore, it doesn’t make them any less valuable or real. Her life is full of places she lived, people she loved, food she enjoyed, the hustle of Nigerian streets, and ordinary days in the village. Life does not lose its meaning simply because moments turn into memories. I think that is what nostalgia is trying to tell me. 

Nostalgia is proof that you have lived a life worth living. What a gift it is to yearn for your own memories! Emily Dickinson once said, “That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.” I feel a pang of sadness when I realize my time at UofL and in the McConnell Center is finite, and I will eventually move on to other things. However, I now realize that I need to be more present and recognize these moments before they become memories. Nostalgia is a bittersweet price to pay for growing up, but it is worth it to me. I am so grateful to feel so nostalgic, because I recognize that these moments matter. What a gift it is to have so much to remember.

Ozy is a McConnell Scholar at the University of Louisville in the Class of 2028. She is studying political science on a global studies and international affairs track with minors in Spanish and history.