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Already.
The 4 year old little boy I babysit already knows that pink is for girls.
He already knows that women have breasts and bottoms that are sexualized.
He already plays with his penis, “because I [he] like[s] to.”
He already knows that girls aren’t supposed to be as strong or fast as boys.
“I don’t like playing with girl games.”
“Why?” I asked.
“I just don’t want to or like to. They are for girls.”
Four years old.
He already thinks women are inferior and different.
As people, we tend to assume that females and males are different — are indeed “opposite sexes.” We see someone’s sex as an important predictor of their abilities and interests and assume that if we know someone is a girl or a boy, we know a lot about them.
This four year old boy has already picked this up.
Parents stereotypically have lower expectations for girls in math and science. Biology is used to justify the smaller number of girls on math/science teams and the smaller number receiving math/science awards.
By age four: Most children have a stable sense of their gender identity. During this same time of life, children learn gender role behavior—that is, doing "things that boys do" or "things that girls do."
By age six, most children spend most of their playtime with members of their own sex and may gravitate towards sports and other activities that are associated with their gender. It is important to allow children to make choices regarding friend groups, sports, and other activities they get involved in.
Have you ever been told you are too smart?
As a woman I am often seen only for my beauty or for my youth.
Being an intelligent, beautiful, and young woman seems like it would be a dream, the whole package. However, in my experience, being young means not being taken seriously. Being pretty means that I can be nothing more. Being intelligent scares or off puts others my age.
If I am seen for my brain, I am intangible. If I am seen for my body, I am an object. If I am seen for my youth, I am ignorant - for there is “no possible way” I have the experience or knowledge of a man twice my age.
These gender stereotypes discussed above affect my life every single day and they start with the way we teach youth to deal with and view gender.
Over time, society has recognized that stereotypes of "masculine" and "feminine" activities and behaviors are inaccurate and limiting to a child's development. Such interests also do not determine or influence one's gender identity. Furthermore, our ability to predict who a child is based on early preferences is not very accurate and may be harmful if it leads to shame or attempts at suppressing their skills, talents, and genuine self.
Still, when a child's interests and abilities are different from what society expects, they may be subjected to discrimination and bullying. Instead of pushing children to conform to societal pressures and to limit themselves, parents must play an important role in encouraging their children to be themselves and must advocate for spaces where their children can feel comfortable and good about themselves.
Bella Beilman is a McConnell Scholar in the Class of 2022. She is studying economics, political science, and Middle Eastern and Islamic studies at the University of Louisville.