Reflecting on Summer

 By Keely O'Bryan 

The other day, I put on one of my suits for the first time in about a month. A strange feeling came over me, and for a moment I felt unfamiliar to myself. In the month since I came back to Louisville, my mind had completely reverted to how it was before this summer. This summer, a suit became my uniform; upon my return home, I've worn sweatpants most days. It almost felt as though there were now two versions of me: the student and the intern. When I think about my summer in D.C., it feels hazy and dreamlike, as if I wasn't really the one present.

I'm so accustomed to moving that staying in one place for too long makes me uneasy. It's a hard feeling to articulate: familiarity is an anchor, but anchors are also unmoving, and thus fail to make any progress. For much of the past year, I felt as though I was simply going through the motions and watching time pass by. When I was accepted into internship programs in D.C., my world became brighter and more lively. I had something new, something unfamiliar, to work toward.

One of the great Kentuckians, Wendell Berry, described Washington, D.C., as a city of boomers. Everyone is trying to make a name for themselves to achieve whatever grandiose ideals of governance they hold. Something about D.C. sparks ambition in people. I met many people who acted as though their potential was completely unlimited – as if everyone believed they had a future as a diplomat or politician or cabinet secretary. I suppose it's easy to feel limitless when you're working in the Capitol’s great halls of power.

Being so close to that power, and how it made me feel, led me to realize that D.C. (or politics as a whole) likely isn't where my future will take me. I see myself much more as a cog in a greater machine than as the one pulling the lever. The busyness and loudness of the city made it easier to think more about my innermost thoughts. I mentioned before that there were two versions of myself, the student and the intern. Surprisingly, I found that the intern-me was much more interested in learning. I read numerous books, journaled, visited museums, and engaged in learning languages much more intentionally than I do during the semester. As a student, I suppose, it's harder to be curious when everything is dictated by a grade.

I think some of the most valuable experiences one can have are those that push you closer to understanding what makes you feel fulfilled. My interest in government has narrowed, giving me a more focused sector to apply myself to. I'm incredibly grateful for all of the people I met this summer who provided me with the guidance and insight to come to that conclusion. I'm also grateful to come home with a greater appreciation for my family, friends, and college as a whole. Sometimes I feel that there is some kind of rush to get through the present and reach the future as fast as possible, but the summer reminded me that there’s value in embracing what you have in the moment.

Keely is a McConnell Scholar at the University of Louisville in the Class of 2028. She is studying political science and sustainability.