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| Samantha Roney |
By Samantha Roney, Class of 2015
I'm going to let you in on a little secret–I'm horribly shy. No, you probably couldn't tell that from looking at me. I love to laugh, joke with my fellow Scholars, but the second we sit down to discuss censorship in the middle ages or the problems in the Middle East, my mouth closes and my true introverted self comes out.
The truth is I don't know why this happens. Nearly all my friends would describe me as an outgoing person with lots of friends. I always talk in class and get to know both my professors and other classmates. But there is something about sitting down in that seminar that makes me nervous and makes me feel like what I have to say isn't good enough. Maybe it's because I look aroud the room at the other Scholars and see how smart they are and how passionate they are about the subject at hand. Or maybe I get a little awestruck at the various world leaders, authors, and professors the McConnell Center brings in. Whatever the reason, at the beginning of this year I made a pact with myself. I was going to talk. I was going to sit in that seminar room and let my voice be heard (no matter how much the thought made me sick to my stomach). So last week I went to my first seminar. I listened intently, bided my time and found the perfect opportunity to give my two cents...only to let the moment pass me by. I did end up speaking in that seminar, just a short quip that really added nothing to the discussion, but made me feel better, made me feel like I had contributed something to the group.
Personal Growth–many see it as something that is huge, that everyone around you notices. Not for me. My personal growth isn't marked by leaps and bounds, instead it is marked by a ten-second quip during a seminar. The McConnell Center was a key facilitator in this growth. Without the program pushing me to the edge of my comfort zone in social and academic settings, I dare say I would blend into the wall in most seminar style lectures and discussions. I am obviously not there yet. Saying one thing in one seminar does not mean I am now going to talk in every single one. But now I know that I can do it. I can say something in a room full of my peers and distinguished professors and know that what I think and what I say matters. No, I'm not there yet, but it is my hope that by the time I am a senior, Scholars have to tell me to hold my tongue because I am talking a bit too much.
Samantha Roney, of Boyle County, is a sophomore McConnell Scholar at the University of Louisville. She is studying business and political science.