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By Alicia Humphrey (Class of 2017)
“On Christ the solid Rock I stand; all other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand.” I can hear the lyrics of my favorite Southern Baptist hymn reverberating off the walls of the traditional church I have attended all my life in my hometown of Paducah, Kentucky even now. In fact, I have repeated these words so many times that I could recite the lyrics with the haughty ease that an elementary school child can list off the letters of the alphabet. Similarly, my daily reality in Paducah was as predictable as this five-chord song I sang in Sunday school, and its rhythm constantly hummed in my head, lulling me to sleep each night with its soothing dependability. I came to the University of Louisville insistent on maintaining my static existence, promising myself that I would do anything in my power to never change neither my personality nor my beliefs.
Little did I know that my first semester at the University of Louisville would shake the very core of the world I had so carefully built for myself upon, unbeknownst to me, a foundation of sinking sand. In Louisville, I was shocked as I found myself faced with new and different situations, ideas, and people, and responding in ways that I never imagined I would. I felt like I was balancing on a tightrope as my religious beliefs were challenged daily, my morals were constantly tested, and I was forced to think for myself about anything and everything. Many times, I was truly at a loss for answers, wondering, even sympathizing with views I had opposed all my life. Was I, Alicia Humphrey, changing? I discovered that the world was not so static as I imagined as I watched my new friends change with me, sometimes for the better, sometimes not. I also realized with horror that the only reason I was who I was in Paducah was because I was never faced with any other options. In denial, I struggled to cling to my previous personality, which only caused it to further crumble at my fingertips. I realized that standing on the solid Rock had become something entirely different—something I was going to have to fight for.
Many say that college is the time to lose your religion. Instead, I believe I have rediscovered mine—although, ironically, this realization occurred in my 9:30 A.M. Tuesday/Thursday Eastern Religions class. Although I only enrolled reluctantly to fulfill a general education requirement, I had a truly life-changing revelation while writing my Eastern Religions term paper comparing Mahayana Buddhism to Indian Hinduism. The thesis of my paper generally stated that although, on the surface, these two religions share similarities, further inspection shows that they are vastly different in their interpretations, yet united in their goals. Upon frantically stringing my scattered thoughts together to compose eight double-spaced pages in a single night, I realized the grandiose of what I was saying, and that the same was actually true of my own world. In Paducah, I had thought that everyone was the same. My ideas were ingrained into me upon birth and were solidified from then on, met mainly with agreement—the solid “strength” that I thought I possessed was untested. Then, upon coming to Louisville, a new environment, I became confused and defensive, believing I was surrounded only by opposition. I quivered under the pressure of what I perceived to be incompatible differences. However, in reality, at the very core, I realized while staring at my computer screen that we are all tied together with the same thread of humanity, just like the religions I believed to be so dissimilar combine to form a harmonious, yes, but a concordant nonetheless chord. I smiled as I recognized that this beautiful chord would only attain its marvelous potential if each note remained true to its own unique sound.
In Eastern Religions, I learned that one of the defining characteristics of Mahayana Buddhism is its belief in impermanence and ‘non-self’—that everything is constantly changing and evolving, that nothing is eternal, and that this world that causes us to desire and suffer is just a falsity that our imaginations project. Although I still consider myself a Southern Baptist Christian, among many other of my old traits I still embrace, I believe that there is much truth in many Buddhist beliefs that at first seemed so contradictory to my own. I believe that I have just begun my evolution as a human being. I believe that there are many more layers of understanding that I have yet to unwrap. I believe that I have finally dug my fingers into the solid Rock and am now ready and willing to fight to hold on. And I look forward to the climb that lies before me.
Alicia Humphrey is a freshman McConnell Scholar from McCracken County. She is majoring in English and Political Science and is minoring in Spanish.