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Class of 2016
As the sole member of the Class of 2016 that is an only child, perhaps I have a better or just more personal insight into the lives of some of our Chinese classmates. After all, China’s infamous One Child policy has directly influenced this group of millennials, a generation of citizens that have grown up without siblings, whose children will most likely not benefit from an extended web of first cousins, aunts, and uncles. While my immediate familial unit is what one may call petite, consisting of just my mother and me – Hey, Jennifer! – I grew up surrounded by a much larger tribe of aunts, uncles, cousins of different degrees, and other family members that reared me in a veritable village. After speaking to some of the students who participated in class with us in Xi’an, my lackadaisical attitude towards my childhood feels irreverent, almost like a slight to the ones whose parents were coerced into giving them this upbringing.
During a lunch break between lectures at Xi’an International Studies University, our group had the privilege of sharing lunch with some of the Chinese students who joined us in class. Along with comparing our lives at school and at home, we also discussed our families. One of our Chinese peers, Renee, was listening enviously as Natalie spoke about growing up with an older sister. Seeking to share a commonality and join league with Renee (her English name, provided for our comfort and general inability to pronounce Chinese words), I piped in and mentioned I was an only child as well. To put it mildly, her response was not nearly as chipper as my contribution to the conversation. Some would call it downright miserable. In response to my quip, she paused before whispering, “Oh…so you are very alone too?”
For the record, I don’t remember my childhood as being lonely. I was naturally bookish and shy, so my fondest memories are of being alone reading and doing other things. However, that alone time was also supplemented with frequent interaction with cousins and multiple summer camps. I didn’t feel alone because my mother constructed conditions that would still allow me to be socialized in a positive, society approved way (That said, the jury is out on whether or not I'm socially acceptable now). How do you take that meticulous parenting and transfer it to an entire generation of only children?
You always hear about the weird behaviors of only children, but where do you even begin with a generation of millions that have never had the chance to form the fledgling bonds that are the basis for the rest of our human relationships? Friends and family still make the occasional comment about a behavior that I have being indicative of my only child status, making me wonder what differences this Chinese generation will exhibit. The old phrase, “an heir and a spare,” feels relevant in this case. What happens to the psyche of a generation that knows that they are the one and only chance? What happens to their parents if something happens to that chance?
I have never felt that I missed out growing up without siblings, and I know that I’m closer to my mom because of this, but it is incredibly disturbing to think about the reality of my Chinese classmate. We technically share similar experiences, but while my lack of sibling feels natural, hers is like a ghost. The grief that hangs over this generation of Chinese will be like a sickness in their bones as they grow older, never being aunts, uncles, or cousins. They will be solely responsible for older members of their family, they will marry people who like them are the only chance for their family. And they will be alone.
Victoria Allen, of Auburn, Ky., is a senior McConnell Scholar majoring in history and political science.