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| Celia Cusick Class of 2020 |
How are you?
A standard when it comes to beginning a casual conversation. Most of the time, we are not genuinely concerned with whether the person on the other end is actually okay. This common courtesy has now fulfilled a daily quota of pleasantries and we can move on to our daily routine. In a time where communication possibilities are virtually endless and instantaneous, the quality of our conversations are severely lacking. Small talk dominates the majority of our interactions with each other. Meaningful conversations are few and far between, which have left our exchanges with others uninspired.
Nice weather we are having.
Is the weather outside really nice, do people actually care about the weather we are having? Let’s talk about something meaningful. What’s something you love to do? Any books that shook your world recently? These are the conversations we should be having, especially now when the social and political atmosphere is so uncertain. People are disoriented and trying to discover where they fit in because of the increasingly levels of divisive rhetoric and pushback that is occurring politically and socially. In fact, NPR reported that following the election individuals have unfriended and deleted forms of social media because they no longer want to engage with those who have conflicting viewpoints and are unsure of where they stand in the social climate. Now is the time to make connections. Small talk is a waste of words, cut to the good stuff and talk about topics that challenge and actively engage you; being vulnerable is vital. With increasing levels of uncertainty in where we fit in our current state of affairs, it is important to create deeper relationships with others. As a self-proclaimed strong and independent woman, I am telling you there is nothing wrong with learning to rely on others. In fact, it’s necessary to do so. I begrudgingly came to accept this lesson after realizing that no one can do it all alone; it does in fact take a village. It is hard to be honest and open with others, but it’s part of forming relationships and communities. By no means does this downplay the importance of taking time to be alone and reflect on the actions you are doing and the purpose behind them. However, engaging with others and finding communities of people that you can connect with is equally as important. Surface level engagements create poor foundations for forming a relationship with another. Small talk fails to uncover the quirks and interests that makes someone unique and worth spending time with. Frankly, no one cares about the insignificant details of your day, but they do care about what makes you tick and what makes your gear grind. Asking the right questions can lead you to finding similarities or fresh, different perspectives. So skip the “How was your day?” and get down to the nitty-gritty.
Communities give people a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment. With the rapid advancement of technology, our society has shifted from depending heavily on others to meet our basic needs to being virtually independent. As a result, people have lost some sense of a definitive purpose. However, this loss of a finite purpose has now given people the freedom to redefine the idea of a community. Through the creation of more unconventional communities where individuals rely on others for needs outside of the basics such as encouragement or accountability, a sense of importance can be restored. Communities can be found in any setting, whether that be a specific academic interest you pursue, a gym you belong to, or the people you commute with. Communities now have the ability to form with little to no boundaries via social media. The first step to establishing or discovering such communities is facilitated through meaningful conversations. Dialogues that are meaningful cause you to think, they strike a cord within you. Words are powerful; they have the ability to make you feel something and this feeling is what others will remember. Getting talking about the things that make life interesting and worth it are what this newfound idea of communities are for. Learning to be vulnerable and honest are what will allow you to create relationships that are beyond the surface level and provide you with satisfaction in life. Even if you have nothing in common with the person on the other end of the dialogue, you walk away from a conversation that caused you to think, to problem solve, and to practice pragmatism, which are all invaluable. Day-to-day life is monotonous, especially when you do it alone, so sit down with others, get loud, and hash out the topics that are more challenging than the weather forecast.
Celia Cusick, of Elizabethtown, Ky., is a freshman McConnell Scholar studying political science.