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By Riley Maddox
I recently had my heart broken. And by the title of this blog, you may think that I'm going to tell that story. But that's not one I'm ready to tell. Instead, I am going to be talking about something much bigger than me, much bigger than all of us: love. I wouldn’t consider myself a love expert by any means. I know that I have quite a bit yet to learn about love. But I do know love well. I've stared love in the face many times. It has crept up behind me at coffee shops and left me shivering in the cold. It has made me laugh so hard I could cry, and cry so hard I could throw up. And through all that, the ups and the downs, I would still choose to love every single time.
It is embedded in the human experience to crave love. In fact, you need love to survive. Love is a biological necessity, just as oxygen and water are. I know the love I crave exists because I see it every day. I see it when I wave to my friends as I pass them on the way to class. I see it when I look at the pink budding blossoms on the trees, and when I sit outside the library and watch couples lay in the grass holding hands. I see it in the faces of my classmates and professors. We are all here because of love. To take a line from everyone’s favorite Christmas movie, “Love is all around us.” And how beautiful that is to think about.
What a wonderful feeling to love and be loved. What a wonderful feeling to be known inside and out. I've always been quite a hopeless romantic, and I used to think that love was something that just happens to people. But now I know that is false. To love and be loved, in any capacity, be it romance or friendship, takes courage. To love well is to be brave. And that's not something anyone tells you. To love well is to be disappointed, is to be kicked in the stomach and have all of the wind knocked out of you, and is to be punched in the face time and time again. To love well is to fall down, and possibly even stay down for a long while. But loving well is also to see into someone's soul. And that is a fundamental part of the human experience. When you can look at someone, up and down and completely inside out, see their flaws and their failures and the dark little things that they hide, and love every single bit.
I think if more people were brave enough to go after the love that they crave, and the love that they deserve, we would live in a better world. So many people are afraid. They are afraid to open themselves up to love because they don't think they are good enough. Or they do not want to be hurt. And what a shame that is. You are beautiful enough to be loved, and not only loved but loved well. We were made in the image of love. The same universe that holds the moon and the stars and the sunsets holds us. The same God that created space and time and matter decided what they created was incomplete without each and every one of us. And that, by definition, means we deserve as much love as all of the beautiful things around us. As much as people stare at the sunset and marvel at its beauty, they too, stare at you and think the same thing.
Never be afraid to love well. Even when it hurts. I have spent the last couple of months buried in grief. It felt like a cloud that consumed me, interfering with every aspect of my life. I have found myself crying in way too many public bathroom stalls or curled up in my bed unable to move. Recently, a friend asked me if I was embarrassed to still love. “How can you continue to love a person who made you feel that way?” she asked. My answer was simple. I will never be ashamed to love. I will never be scared of my feelings. I will continue to love until my last breath. Because that is my only choice. I could let this hard time turn me bitter. I could harden my heart so that never again could anyone break it. But I choose to let my heart remain open and soft. I refuse to deprive myself of the most beautiful thing in the world because it hurts sometimes. Grief is the price we pay for loving well. And regardless of how much it hurts, I would do it all over again if I got the chance. Because to exist is to love.
Do not be afraid to love well. Call your mom and tell her you love her. Hug your friends. Smile at the stranger. Love does not have an expiration date. You cannot ever run out of it. So give it out liberally. Love despite hate and indifference. Love someone who you know will not love you back. Love people you dislike. Love people that drive you crazy. When you let yourself fill up with love, you will always feel satisfied. Love despite it all. In the end, when you are dead and gone, the only things you can leave behind on this earth are the products of your love. Never be ashamed to love. Your love is power. And you deserve so much of it.
Riley, of Erlanger, Ky., is a member of the McConnell Scholar Class of 2027 at the University of Louisville. She studies political science and criminal justice.