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“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” – C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
In my room there is a 12 by 8 foot wall. On this perimeter of my college homebase lives 222 photos – I count them to fall asleep. 47 are with other scholars in various states of candide and posed states of excitement. Crawfish boils, Derby celebrations, practicing with the local curling team, and snowball fights. Others encapsulate various trips, ceremonies, fraternity formals, a birthday here, another Cards victory there. But all of them showcase my proudest achievement: my friends.
Growing up I had heard that family isn’t always blood, and for whatever reason, I took that to be so exclusionary. Loved ones should mean everyone you love, not just those you share DNA with. It wasn’t until college, in the absence of those with the same big-cheeked grin, that I realized my error. Regardless of the same surname or not, your “chosen family” are those that don’t just come and go, or only there for the highs and lows. My
friends shine brightest in the gray and mundane. They give life flavor, they “give value to
survival.” It wasn’t until recently that I realized that I end the last hour or two most nights
with my roommates and greatest friends. Depending on the day, this audience of 1-3 has
heard every casual anecdote in the book. Likewise, they lead my favorite seminars. What I
found only very minute in a day’s course, they riff off of and provoke a belly laugh. Lewis,
again puts it perfectly: “In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend
can fully bring out.”
While my friends are often my peers, and sometimes my listeners, they are also my
role models. You see, my friends are every bit as successful as I hope to some day be. While
positions on campus and scores on exams are all well and good, my friends know how to get
the most out of life. We no longer simplistically answer “How’s it going?,” but push deeper to
find the beauty and purpose in each everyday moment. As Dr. Gregg likes to put it, they
know how to reach for Eudaimonia.
Despite your Instagram profile being your virtual ID in most social circles and having
X-number of followers as currency, I have never considered posting for anyone not already
smiling in my newly uploaded memories. The photos on my wall and in my virtual footprint
capture my greatest achievement. The people I have been able to surround myself with
continue to push me and bring out the best in me. I am absolutely a proponent of living in
the moment, but I keep the camera charged up just to show off my grand prize.
If the old adage “I show you my friends and you show me my future holds” is true,
then I cannot wait for tomorrow.
Luke is a McConnell Scholar at the University of Louisville in the class of 2027. He is studying biology and political science on a pre-dentist track.