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| Travis Wilson |
So it’s over. The most transformative year of my life thus far is at a close. Frankly, though I try my best to realize its impact today, I probably will not grasp the full impact until much later in my life. Having recently attended the McConnell Center Senior Dinner, I feel that the capstone has been placed on my year. It served to put everything into perspective and signaled the nearing end of my academic work as a freshman. While I cannot emulate the eloquence of fellow scholar Arsh Hague’s post reflecting on this event, I will try to capture some of my current thoughts that I am considering as I take a break from attempting to move everything in my apartment into my Honda Civic (a miracle which I still have some doubt as to whether it is possible to accomplish).
The first thing that comes to mind when reflecting on this year is the people that I have met and the memories that I have made with them. This year has been incredibly busy, but I am glad that I have made spending time with people one of my top priorities. Maybe a few quiz grades suffered a couple points on occasion, but not too terribly. I don’t regret any use of my time this year. In retrospect, taking the time to discuss the big ideas from Dr. Gregg’s class outside of the classroom were some of the most beneficial hours of my life. Spending extra time to fully comprehend these readings has given me a much better basis from which to view society and my own personal ambitions, which is much more valuable to me than the difference between an A and an A-.
Delving deeper into my reflections I consider the incredible opportunities that I have been given. Listening to the seniors explain how they came into the McConnell Program was very provocative; many had very little idea as to what the program was about when applying. As they face graduation, they now speak in front of a distinguished crowd, including to Senator McConnell, about how much they have received and how they have been so blessed by the unique opportunities that easily surpass any Ivy League school. “Blessed” was the word that stood out to me. I have to consider my own selection into a program, which surprisingly has the ability to change your life, a providential event in my life.
I find myself wondering: Why, of all people, was I selected? Why was I chosen and not another hardworking and probably more deserving person? Thinking deeper I cannot help but to acknowledge the fact that nobody actually can earn the McConnell Scholarship. No one actually can deserve a free education or earn the chance to meet national leaders personally, but it leaves us merely the opportunity to resolve to claim every ounce of improvement that I can before I graduate. The thought that it all could have so easily slipped away with a bad interview or an inferior essay baffles me. “It might have all been different,” Willie Stark says in All the Kings Men; this line can be applied in my own context as well. I could be a just another number at another over-sized state university. I could’ve simply completed my coursework, just as I have done for the previous 13 years of my life. I could’ve earned A’s and worked hard but never really had to think. I could’ve received my degree and had a nice career but never realized the potential that I have. In all that time I very well could have never even developed to where I am after just my first year. The thought of who I could have been “if it might have all been different” terrifies me.
I feel satisfied with my progress thus far but I still and craving more time to improve and to grow more. Maybe that is why the thought of leaving the University of Louisville for the summer is somewhat depressing. This year’s senior class echoed each other in the sentiment that “It goes by fast.” I am determined to get the most out of every second. I want to come back to my Sophomore year with an attitude of humility out of appreciation coupled with a deep sense of responsibility to my future. I want not to think that I have earned anything, or have arrived anywhere, but to maintain my ambition for a higher plane of thought, personality, academics, and involvement.
Travis Wilson, of Burlington, Ky., is a freshman McConnell Scholar at the University of Louisville. He is studying economics, history and political science.