.png)
One night, I decided to stop and talk to homeless men. The two were from South Carolina and rode the trains until they reached Louisville. They spoke about how hard it was for them to find work and how they left everything behind in their continual quest for jobs. Louisville served as a nice destination because a family name, which they didn’t carry with them, meant nothing and their reputations upon first meeting would either solidify or prevent employment. After we finished talking, I prayed for them and left.
To me, these men were on a journey to find their purpose. There are plenty of jobs between South Carolina and Louisville, KY but nothing stuck with them. These men lived out a principle a mentor once told me, “Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.” Currently I am faced with deciding between becoming a doctor, going into law, teaching, doing business, doing psychology, and anything else that is interesting to me at the moment. But, having the ability to do those things does not constitute doing them. I have to continuously search for my passion and stick with it.
Google dictionary defines home as “the place where one lives permanently” and live as to “spend one’s life in a particular way.” Add the two together and you see that the integral parts of the human existence coincide to mean you put time and effort into being some person in one solidified place. After hearing the story of those two men, I felt empowered to be homeless—not necessarily rebuking my home in Cadiz, KY, but rebuking some of my foundational beliefs that are permanent in my mind. My mental home consisted of achieving at everything, making everyone proud of me, accomplishing things others esteemed highly, and striving for perfection at the cost of personal health. I oftentimes found myself stressed about my goals, purpose, and decisions for life throughout the school year because I was so attached to certain beliefs I could never evolve. Since speaking with them I have uprooted myself from the mental home I was trapped in and I am allowing myself to finally find who I am. I am not tied down by the opinions of others and what they deem successful for my life. I am not pressured by ridiculous standards set by myself to be everything. I am forging my own path in hopes to find my purpose somewhere along the way. Like those two homeless men, I do not know exactly where I’ll end up, but I will not let attachments to home hold me back. From now on, I am homeless.
X'Zashea Lawson-Mayes is a sophomore McConnell Scholar at the University of Louisville. She studies political science, psychology, and business.