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| Ocey Holland Class of 2018 |
By Ocey Holland, Class of 2018
This past summer I took a General Chemistry course for a pre-med requirement with a good friend of mine from the Biology program. A couple of weeks into the course, for our first exam, we decided to study over the phone together. During our time trying to understand these completely abstract chemical concepts my father came in the house with a new bowtie for me and asked if it looked like something I would wear. I, like I have always done, addressed him as ‘father’ and answered his question “Yes sir, I will. Thank you”. He handed me the box and responded with “You are welcome, son”. My friend, still on the other line, laughed in amusement asking, “You really talk to your parents like that?” Yes, I still talk to my parents as I did when I was growing up. And yes, growing up I was instructed on how to properly speak to my elders. The problem is not that I address my parents as my elders but that society sees this act as unnecessary because parents should keep A “candid” relationship with their children.
I see no flaw in the way my parents reared me. In fact, I find it extremely advantageous in so many ways. Growing up, I was never given the opportunity to answer my elder with “yeah” and “no”, no matter how much of a rush I was in or how much I disliked him/her for telling on me when I did something bad. My elbows never hit the table and my knife never touched the plate until mother was seated, father was served, and prayer was said. I never left
home without asking or stayed out past curfew (attending Prom freshman year was the only
exception). I read, drew, and played outside in that order always and I completed my chores
everyday. The funny part is that I didn’t mind any of it. Everyone of these things were my
everyday life and soon an adopted life of my middle brother. Our parents’ had set an
atmosphere that expected productive and constructive activity at such an early age that we
didn’t know anything other than what we have always done. My middle brother and I have
always respected our parents’ and understood their philosophy that one must start a life
working hard first and playing only second to that, because working produces the most
rewards.
My formative years have helped me to become a superstar in today’s academic and
work atmospheres. Because I have so such respect for my parents’ and want to succeed just as
much as they want me to, I have decided to extend the philosophies of my upbringing into my
adult life. I believe that constantly dwelling on my early instruction has put me in many of the
positions that I have acquired today. I have had my mannerisms raise eyebrows in amazement,
my dinner etiquette having my elders asking for guidance, and my peers applauding my formal
interactions with professionals. For me, the balance is so easy but for many of my friends who
are just now being introduced to the professional stratosphere have trouble knowing when to
take the correct professional actions.
I am the oldest child of three boys and somewhere between the birth of my youngest
brother and my entrance into university, my parents became more lenient with my siblings and
I. The grand product of my parents’ decision to change their parenting style is my mischievous
eight-year-old baby brother. I cannot say that the difference in time or the variation in audience are not factors of this dramatic change in attitude between my baby brother and I, but there is
a very evident correlation between the approach in which our parents’ reared us.
I will not say that my childhood experience is the only way of possibly being successful
but I will say that because of my upbringing I can focus on improving myself in ways other than
respect for others, formal mannerisms, deliberative thought, and proper etiquette. Whether
you have nieces or nephews, or expecting a child of your own keep this way of rearing in mind. I
promise you that formalities are still relevant and useful.
Ocey Holland is a sophomore McConnell Scholar at the University of Louisville. He studies biology and political science.