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| Emma Lawson Class of 2021 |
"Come, come one come all. You must be this tall to ride this ride at the carnival," the carny proclaims as a young woman steps onto the ride she has been waiting eighteen years to embark on. She has dreamed about this moment: the rush of emotions she would feel as she heard the carny turn the key, waiting to feel what it's like to be on this side of things. "Watch your step, sweetheart, you might fall getting on..." and BOOM. The young woman stumbles onto the ride, catching her breath and noting her heart rate increasing as she sits and attempts to buckle into her seat. As the carny comes around to ensure all passengers are buckled, she looks around. Everyone fits perfectly in their seat. Laughing and carrying on. It's like this ride was designed for them. Why was she having such a hard time getting buckled in before she slid out of her seat? The seat she knew was made just for her. The carny came to check on her. "Sir, are you sure that I am the right height to ride this? I am feeling a little uneasy about this situation," the girl nervously asked the man. "It's too late now," the carny yelled from the landing, "here... we... GO!"
I guess you can imagine how the rest of the story goes. The young woman is being flung around her seat from all the twists and turns of the ride. She is being beat up from the lack of support from both the seat and the others on the ride. She is tired, and wants to give up.
. . .
This story pertains to me. It pertains to McConnell Scholars. It pertains to students at the University of Louisville and other college campuses throughout our state and nation. This is how many students experience college throughout the first few months. They expect this ride to be the best four years of their life. To come and meet their friends, thrive in their projected major, and be invincible towards the world. The real world. Just as what happened in the story, many students stumble through the fast paced changes that they are being thrown into without the protection and guidance of their seat belt or those around them. They feel like it is them against the world with no support. When comparing class schedules, resumes, or even stalking another's social media, all a student can do is degrade their personal wellbeing for the sake of lifting up their "friend." Then go and try to transform themselves into an equally "perfect" being like their friend. Is this really what college is? Am I going to experience the "best four years of my life" stuck in melancholy and self rejection? I refuse to agree with the standard that your professors are out to get you, and that although it might seem like your friend is living the perfect life, they are having the same self doubt when talking to you...
With the challenging curriculum of higher education, and the daunting task of actually meeting people with whom you can connect, many students can ask, "Why aren't I fitting into my seat? Who am I anymore?" Those two questions are popular among those who choose to jump on the ride called college. I used to contemplate and wrestle with those questions myself. It would keep me up at night looking through social media at what my "friends" were doing, what they wore, and the once of a lifetime experiences they were having. After being beaten up from the ride and almost falling off my own seat, I decided to look deep into my own life and evaluate EVERYTHING I was a part of, what I stood for, and importantly, those I surrounded myself with. It was a terrifying time, it truly was, but I would rather be who I am without the suppression of others than be the puppet on a string for this journey. I challenge students feeling the same way I was to evaluate their 24 hours of a day, 168 hours in a week. If there is something you are not passionate about or doing just because it looks good on a resume, I have some advice for you. Hoop jumping only qualifies for horses who are a part of the real circus, and you are not a horse or a part of any show.
. . .
The young woman waits patiently in line again for the ride. "Aren't you the girl who was beaten up pretty bad the last time you hopped on?" the carny asks as he opens up the gates. "That wasn't me. I am back and ready to conquer this ride the right way." She glides smoothly into her seat, a perfect match. She is assured that this seat wasn't made for the person she thought she should be, but the person she truly is. The young woman remembered who she was, and the game changed. The carny finally yells, "Here... we... GO!" and the ride starts in full swing.
Emma Lawson, of Springfield, Ky., is a freshman McConnell Scholar studying political science.