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Why Ruth and Marty Ginsburg had the greatest relationship on Earth and what we can all learn from it.
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| Jasmyne Post ('20) |
Joan Ruth Bader was born in 1933 in Brooklyn, New York. Martin David Ginsburg was born in 1932 in Long Island, New York. The two met in the beginning of their undergraduate careers at Cornell. One of Ruth’s housemates was dating one of Marty’s friends and the two were set up on a blind date so that their friends would have a ride to a formal dance. From the beginning, Marty expressed that he was intrigued by Ruth’s beauty. Both had significant others at other institutions, but after that first date, they remained friends and their bond grew stronger. Ruth was known as the quiet, smart girl in class and Marty was the rambunctious jokester. To an outsider their coupling seemed mismatched, but to those who truly knew the two, it was clear that they were perfect complements. In her semi-autobiography My Own Words Ruth expressed that when she and Marty finally decided to explore a romantic relationship she was excited to find someone who loved her mind as much as her looks.
The two, despite having wildly different personalities, had strikingly similar interests. They both liked books, travel, and the opera. When describing how they fell in love, Ruth characterized the moment as, “’less of an aha moment, and more of a crescendo.” At the time they met, Marty was not studying to become a lawyer. When he switched into the field of study he and Ruth began having classes together and that brought them even closer. When it came time for them to consider marriage, Marty is quoted as saying, “I obviously was going to have a much better and happier life with Ruth than without her.” The two married in 1954 and decided that whatever career they chose to pursue, they would pursue it together. The couple attended Harvard Law School together, and Ruth transferred to Columbia once Marty had graduated and gotten a job in the area. While in law school, the two had a child and, unlike what was the norm in the 50’s, Ruth maintained her independence and excelled. She was able to do this by splitting her duties with Marty equally when it came to house and family. Marty is quoted responding to the situation as, “It’s not sacrifice; it’s family.”
Fast forward to Ruth’s nomination to the court, she admitted at her confirmation hearing that it was all Marty’s hard work that resulted in her privilege to be appointed the highest court in the land. Before being nominated, Ruth was a Rockstar judge on the DC Circuit of the court. When Byron White retired from the SCOTUS and Bill Clinton was looking for a worthy replacement, Marty immediately knew he had to show the president that he only had one option. He called in favors from all the legal colleagues he had gathered over the last decades of his own successful career and their cajoling landed Ruth an interview at the White House for a job that most only dream about. President Clinton said that within the first fifteen minutes of the interview, he knew that she was the right woman for the job. The rest, as they say, is history.
The Ginsburg’s relationship was by no means perfect. There are stories of sickness and overwork and all kinds of road bumps, but it was good overall because they respected and loved each other. If a person is to learn anything from these two, it should be to find someone who supports your essence, uplifts your soul, and ultimately makes your life better than it would be without them. No one should ever feel like they are settling in a relationship. Challenges should ultimately result in growth, not stagnation. A life-long partner should be everything that you simultaneously are and are not. A person should never have to hide their true self to appeal to parts of their partner that they know will not accept them fully. Finally, sacrifice should be worth something and your love should be something worth defending. Marty put it best when he said, “It’s not sacrifice; it’s family.” The Ginsburgs were not strangers to compromise, but it was always for a reason.
In conclusion, if a person doesn’t feel that they could inscribe their biography with the line, “To Marty, my dear partner in life and constant uplifter,” then maybe they haven’t yet found a Marty.
Jasmyne Post, of Philpot, Ky., is a member of the McConnell Scholar Class of 2019. She studies english and political science at the University of Louisville.