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By Jacob Banta
The fool opens his mouth faster than he inclines his ear. For what reason does this kind of man speak at all? Perhaps it is for pride. The man who makes excuses for his lack of reading would have you regard his opinions as on par with an Oxford scholar. He has the audacity to compare his knowledge to an inkling. He would declare himself a philosopher and consider you blessed for hearing his rhetoric. This kind of man delights in you hearing him talk with his fancy words and savvy descriptions rather than in making you ponder about truth. Well, let’s not be so cynical. Maybe this fool just suffers from a lack of understanding instead of a prideful heart. The poor lad! He doesn’t know what he doesn’t know. Who could blame him for that! Go ahead and enlighten this young man on where he misstepped or lacked knowledge. He might even thank you! Unfortunately, we will stumble over the problem once more. Behind that thank you or smile or perhaps even an apology there is a trace of something. Even if the man isn’t consciously aware of it, in his heart of hearts there is a stirring of bitterness. At his core his pride despises you. There is always a little chip at a person’s pride when they are corrected. They are made aware of their inferiority and they hate it. And they will hate the source of that awareness. They will hold you in contempt. They will learn just to know more than you and that is no knowledge at all. The poor boy with a lack of understanding wanted you to marvel at what he does know and you did the opposite. Let’s take a step back. Most likely you have pictured someone in your life like this. Before you are quick to judge and open your own mouth to claim yourself a wise man above this other fool, let me ask you to humble yourself. For you are a fool and so am I.
Yes, we are fools. The problem is we like to think of ourselves as more important than we actually are. I have been made aware that many times when I am in a conversation that I am impatient with the other person talking. I want them to stop talking so that I can start talking. Sometimes I even wait for a short pause and cut in. What a wretched man I am. In vain do I build up knowledge just to craft convincing arguments. At my heart I want the other person to just listen to what I have to say without having to hear their side. Now another problem arises. How am I going to faithfully defend or explain what I have to say if I haven’t pondered the other person’s words? There is no dialogue when you are not paying attention to the other person. It is as if you are giving a monologue and this other person is just giving you time to collect your thoughts to continue speaking as they waste their efforts by talking. What I have to say may be really important. Though I must realize the same thing might hold true for the other person. I am tired of thinking this way. A fool thinks himself entirely unique and his opinion as groundbreaking. You aren’t special. No good ideas come from an island. A good idea is always an offshoot from a foundation of established good ideas.
Let’s be honest. You don’t have to jump in as soon as someone is done speaking nor should you. You are a liar if you say you have truly pondered what was just stated if you instantly start talking. While they were talking, you spent the entire time planning what you were going to say. You were biting at the bit just to make yourself known. You weren't concerned about learning anything from them. Instead, in your pride, you always want to be the teacher. How is anyone to learn when everyone is only concerned with making their own opinion known? Let us not be worthless lovers of opinion. Let us love wisdom. Real Truth. To find the real truth you must humble yourself that you don’t have all the answers for truth does not lay in ourselves but somewhere else. Truth must be revealed to us.
A viable solution is difficult to find. It’s very easy to say what to do. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. But for real growth you must actually find joy in that truth or you will always be bitter. You must be content in listening to the other person speak and diligent in finding intentional words yourself. Enjoy the bitter silence of no one speaking. Now that there is a pause go ahead and collect your thoughts and examine what should be said. Take your time. Don’t be in such a rush to fill the empty air. Embrace the awkwardness of the situation. It will feel weird. The other person might even think you're weird. Be humble for the sake of good conversation. Maybe one day you will appreciate the sweetness of silence. Imagine a conversation as if you are taking a stroll through nature and your words complement the discussion as bird song does for a trickling stream. Maybe just stop and rest against a tree to listen to the calming stream.
Jacob Banta is a McConnell Scholar in the class of 2024. He is studying civil engineering and political science at the University of Louisville.