Sorrowful Yet Always Rejoicing

By Jacob Banta 

2 Corinthians 6:4-10

4 but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, 5 beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; 6 by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; 7 by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; 8 through honor and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; 9 as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; 10 as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything.

Trials and hardships can engulf your life in suffering. Sometimes that suffering seems like a storm that does not let up until it beats you into despair. A dark despair in which the mere thought of hope feels like foolishness. This past year I have experienced unique trials and sufferings unlike the majority of my life. Each and everyone one of us grapples with distinctive sufferings in our lives and I certainly know many who have lived through harsher times than I might ever will. It drives the question - why must there be suffering? Why does God allow suffering in his good design? I am certain there will be a day when God will set everything perfectly right. But still it is ever present that to live life now is to suffer. The question of why is quite challenging to address and to ponder on, but the question of how comes with living through it. On these pages I will simply collect my reflections on how the Christian lives amidst suffering. Perhaps another time for the why of suffering, but that will spill much more of my own ink than I am able to put out right now. There are quite good answers by theologians on the why, but here is my lived out answer on the how.

What a peculiar state of mind it is to be at your weakest yet experiencing a surreal peace. The Christian experiences a unique joy amidst their sorrows that seems unexplainable. Below I have organized my thoughts into three basic reflections - I: Suffering Turns my Eyes to Jesus who Suffered in my Place, II: Suffering Draws me Near to Christ in this Life, III: Suffering Turns my Heart Towards Heaven. 

Sometimes many words must be written by your own hand to get across your experience. This task I leave to the Word of God and saints of days past who have beautifully written about the universal human experience and response to God amidst suffering. With each reflection I give a passage from the Bible and a hymn that expresses my meditations on the matter. There is of course much more that you could see that my soul has reflected over, but the simplicity here will suffice. Under each pairing, I offer a few of my own words in processing key verses and emotions. Of course you could read what I say without any of the text, but I truly implore you to not separate the two. I would even urge you to listen to the songs as you go along. All of them have great renditions in albums done by Together for the Gospel. Check them out. Perhaps you can glean into them and catch a glimpse of my own soul, better yet a glimpse of the Savior, namely Jesus Christ, whom this is all about.

 

Reflection I: Suffering Turns my Eyes to Jesus who Suffered in my Place

 

Isaiah 53 

1 Who has believed what he has heard from us?

    And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?

2 For he grew up before him like a young plant,

    and like a root out of dry ground;

he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,

    and no beauty that we should desire him.

3 He was despised and rejected by men,

    a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;

and as one from whom men hide their faces

    he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4 Surely he has borne our griefs

    and carried our sorrows;

yet we esteemed him stricken,

    smitten by God, and afflicted.

5 But he was pierced for our transgressions;

    he was crushed for our iniquities;

upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,

    and with his wounds we are healed.

6 All we like sheep have gone astray;

    we have turned—every one—to his own way;

and the Lord has laid on him

    the iniquity of us all.

7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,

    yet he opened not his mouth;

like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,

    and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,

    so he opened not his mouth.

8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away;

    and as for his generation, who considered

that he was cut off out of the land of the living,

    stricken for the transgression of my people?

9 And they made his grave with the wicked

    and with a rich man in his death,

although he had done no violence,

    and there was no deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him;

    he has put him to grief;

when his soul makes an offering for guilt,

    he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;

the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.

11 Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied;

by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,

    make many to be accounted righteous,

    and he shall bear their iniquities.

12 Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many,

    and he shall divide the spoil with the strong,

because he poured out his soul to death

    and was numbered with the transgressors;

yet he bore the sin of many,

    and makes intercession for the transgressors.

 

Stricken, Smitted, and Afflicted - Thomas Kelly

1 Stricken, smitten, and afflicted,

see him dying on the tree!

'Tis the Christ, by man rejected;

yes, my soul, 'tis he, 'tis he.

'Tis the long-expected Prophet,

David's Son, yet David's Lord;

proofs I see sufficient of it:

'tis the true and faithful Word.

 

2 Tell me, as you hear him groaning,

was there ever grief like his,

friends through fear his cause disowning,

foes insulting his distress?

Many hands were raised to wound him,

none would intervene to save;

but the deepest stroke that pierced him

was the stroke that justice gave.

 

3 If you think of sin but lightly

nor suppose the evil great,

here you see its nature rightly,

here its guilt may estimate.

Mark the sacrifice appointed,

see who bears the awful load;

'tis the Word, the Lord's anointed,

Son of Man and Son of God.

 

4 Here we have a firm foundation,

here the refuge of the lost:

Christ, the Rock of our salvation,

is the name of which we boast;

Lamb of God, for sinners wounded,

sacrifice to cancel guilt!

None shall ever be confounded

who on him their hope have built.

 

Note the sufferings of Christ long foretold by Isaiah - despised, rejected, man of sorrows, grieved, bearer of our grief, stricken, smitten, afflicted, pierced, crushed, wounded, abandoned by his own, slaughtered, oppressed, judged, and bearer of our sin. There is no one else who has suffered like Jesus. His suffering as both God and man makes his suffering completely unique. In my momentary afflictions I look to Jesus who stepped down from heaven, eternally at peace, to suffer for me, a rebel. Before my king I bring not but bloodied and bruised hands. What love of my savior is displayed in his life and on that cross that it turns my eyes from myself to him. The hymn sets it rightly in verse 2 that we ought to hear him groaning, for it was our sin that held him there. The cross becomes real when I experience it firsthand that Christ bore my sin there. He bled and suffered and died for me. Not hypothetical or wished for. Real blood. Real death. A real body in a tomb. A real risen savior.

 

Reflection II: Suffering Draws me Near to Christ in this Life

 

Romans 5:1-11

1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. 11 More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

 

Afflicted Saint to Christ Draw Near - John Fawcett

1 Afflicted saint, to Christ draw near,

Thy Saviour's gracious promise hear;

His faithful word declares to thee,

That as thy day thy strength shall be.

 

2 Let not thy heart despond, and say,

"How shall I stand the trying day?"

He has engaged by firm decree,

That as thy day thy strength shall be.

 

3 Thy faith is weak, thy foes are strong,

And if the conflict should be long,

Thy Lord will make the tempter flee,

For as thy day thy strength shall be.

 

4 Should persecution rage and flame,

Still trust in thy Redeemer's name;

In fiery trials thou shalt see

That as thy day thy strength shall be.

 

It becomes quite clear that we must draw near to Christ in our sufferings for Christ suffered to draw near to us. What beauty it is that Jesus died for us while we were still sinners. I did not have to clean up my sin stained life to embrace Christ. His blood washes me white as snow and gives me great comfort not in myself, but in him. Notice the end of suffering leads to hope in verse 4. Hope in what? Nothing but Christ himself. He has justified me. He has made my peace with God. Not an empty peace, but a full reconciliation to my Father. Jesus has saved me from death to life. Though suffering might feel like a small death everyday, would I doubt the giver of life to comfort me in those brief afflictions. Jesus has promised to be faithful despite my unfaithfulness and unthankfulness. Though I might run from him and feel lost and abandoned, he will always be right where he always was. By my side he will carry me through life, giving me strength for each day. If he wills me to be on this earth, he will provide the strength to carry my mission to the end.

 

Reflection III: Suffering Turns my Heart Towards Heaven

Psalm 73: 16-28

16 But when I thought how to understand this,

    it seemed to me a wearisome task,

17 until I went into the sanctuary of God;

    then I discerned their end.

18 Truly you set them in slippery places;

    you make them fall to ruin.

19 How they are destroyed in a moment,

    swept away utterly by terrors!

20 Like a dream when one awakes,

    O Lord, when you rouse yourself, you despise them as phantoms.

21 When my soul was embittered,

    when I was pricked in heart,

22 I was brutish and ignorant;

    I was like a beast toward you.

23 Nevertheless, I am continually with you;

    you hold my right hand.

24 You guide me with your counsel,

    and afterward you will receive me to glory.

25 Whom have I in heaven but you?

    And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

26 My flesh and my heart may fail,

    but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

27 For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;

    you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.

28 But for me it is good to be near God;

    I have made the Lord God my refuge,

    that I may tell of all your works.

 

The Sands of Time are Sinking - Samuel Rutherford

1 The sands of time are sinking,

the dawn of heaven breaks,

the summer morn I've sighed for,

the fair sweet morn awakes;

dark, dark hath been the midnight,

but dayspring is at hand,

and glory, glory dwelleth

in Emmanuel's land.

 

2 The King there in his beauty

without a veil is seen;

it were a well-spent journey,

though sev'n deaths lay between:

the Lamb with his fair army

doth on Mount Zion stand,

and glory, glory dwelleth

in Emmanuel's land.

 

3 O Christ, he is the fountain,

the deep sweet well of love!

The streams on earth I've tasted,

more deep I'll drink above:

there to an ocean fullness

his mercy doth expand,

and glory, glory dwelleth

in Emmanuel's land.

 

4 The bride eyes not her garment,

but her dear bridegroom's face;

I will not gaze at glory,

but on my King of grace;

not at the crown he gifteth,

but on his piercèd hand:

the Lamb is all the glory

of Emmanuel's land.

As my mortal body wastes away verse 26 truly comes to life. The reminder that this life is temporary pushes my heart’s desire to rest and be with God forever. This little life of some odd years is but a dot on the line of eternity. Though often I live as if everything hinges on a difficult trial, it is but a brief affliction preparing me for an eternal weight of glory. I can only imagine the day when verse 25 hits with a peculiar weight. I know many older saints at my church who truly know more people at home with the Lord than on this earth. I truly wish it Lord that I would desire you alone and my love for this world would pass on with it. God is eternally lovely and this world is but a scroll that is running out of ink to unveil. Every drop of rain, every dying blade of grass is but the earth’s march to its end. Oh as the sands of time sink away, I long to see the face of my God. What a reflection that the Christian, the bride of Christ in the Church, eyes not their garments of sin and suffering, but the dear face of Jesus and his shed blood that draws us near now on earth by faith, but will one day hold us near by sight forever with him. What a beautiful glory when Heaven comes here to earth and all things are made new. I long for that day. I long to be finally at home. No more suffering. Only peace, No more sin and death. Only life from everlasting to everlasting.

Don’t cling to this life my friend. God offers you the hands of Christ in his salvation through his shed blood on the Cross and his resurrection from death. If we die with him we will surely live with him. He is the sure foundation. He is the sure and steady anchor of my weary soul. 

All three of my reflections on suffering are beautifully expressed in this last hymn that I’ll leave you with. 

 

It Is Well - Horatio Spafford

1 When peace like a river attendeth my way,

when sorrows like sea billows roll;

whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,

"It is well, it is well with my soul."

 

2 Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,

let this blest assurance control:

that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,

and has shed his own blood for my soul.

 

3 My sin oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!

my sin, not in part, but the whole,

is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more;

praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

 

4 O Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,

the clouds be rolled back as a scroll;

the trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend;

Even so, it is well with my soul.

 

Other Hymns Befit for Meditations on Suffering

Christ What Burdens Bowed Thy Head

Man of Sorrows, What a name

Dear Refuge of My Weary Soul

Whate’er My God Ordains is Right

See the Destined Day Arise

Hark I Harps Eternal

 

Jacob Banta is a McConnell Scholar in the class of 2024. He is studying civil engineering and political science at the University of Louisville.