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By Jacob Banta
As I sit down to write this last testimony as a McConnell Scholar, I stop to pause and reflect over what a blessing this program has been for the past four years. I came into the scholarship program thinking I had just added another achievement to the list of my pride. Entering college, I desired to pursue the greatness of my own name and image. Thankfully, God had other plans. Many life circumstances had left where I would attend college up in the air. In the Lord’s providence he brought me to the University of Louisville through the McConnell Program. For that I am eternally grateful. In college, God dashed my pride on the rock of his sovereignty and goodness. A work not yet finished. I realize I am not the main character in my life. God is. He has shown me how wonderful and how grand the story is that he is writing with humanity. And he desires to include me in it! What a wondrous mystery! For that matter, he wants to include you too! I have grown more and more to realize my life is not all about me. In many ways I now see and am interested in parts of life outside myself. I have come to love the state and people of Kentucky as my home. I have learned about and became friends with people who differ from me. I have read books of varying kinds and have been reenchanted with reading. I have joined a church with people I consider a new family. Whether I go to work in Christian ministry or engineering, I want to work for God’s glory and not my own. I want to have a family and love them with the love of God and not just for my selfish pleasure. More than just another achievement, college and the unique opportunities afforded to me through the McConnell Program have been processes of character development and vision casting for how to make my life count. I want to live my life for something more.
Coming to the end of one stage of life and on the precipice of another causes my eyes to gaze on to the end of all life stages. My eyes and heart look towards that day. That day when the Lord returns or calls me home. I cannot see it yet. I do not know when it will come. Yet, I do so long for it. Man does not know when God will claim what is rightfully his. Our lives are in the palms of his hand. Every day we walk on the edge of eternity. Let that have its proper weight. Eternity is forever. One day the 80 years some of us might have will be like the dust blown away by the wind. In a million billion years everything that ever transpired on earth will be a distant memory. And eternity will keep on moving along forever. And it will do so without our input. Time has not come to a grand finality of our lives in the 21st century. We are not the stars of the show. God will have his way for eternity for the sake of his name. His glory he will not give to another.
I am often struck to the heart by this quote from C.S. Lewis in his sermon The Weight of Glory where he meditates on the reality of the human being created for eternity.
“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.”
On which side of eternity will you be on? With God in eternal life, joy, and peace? Or apart from him in death where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth? Acknowledging the reality that everyone I know will one day exist with God or apart from him causes me to tremble. As a Christian my pride has been turned upside down. I want to do great things with my life. Just not for the sake of my name. I want to do eternal good with my life that changes peoples’ lives. Except my name for all its worth can be forgotten by the men of this age. I want to make my life count. I want to make his name known. If there is one thing, I am remembered for it would be as a herald of the gospel. The good news. And oh, what a simple but profound message. Walking on the edge of eternity I do not know the last time I get to share this good news or the last time someone might hear this news before stepping over the edge. It is my prayer that this reflection on the gospel might even affect one person’s walk towards eternity as Lewis said. Friend, I hope you might see the perfect wisdom of our God. Friend, I hope that if you are not a Christian you might be reconciled to God or that if you are a Christian, you might rejoice that God calls you friend.
This is the gospel. The good news of God revealed in Jesus Christ. God is holy and perfect, existing in one nature and three persons in the Trinity. God created all of creation and man for his glory and pleasure. Man was created to love God and serve him as a steward of the earth yet rebelled against God. This rebellion deserves the wrath of God. God is a righteous judge and thus sin must be punished. That punishment is eternal death that God promised to Adam if he rebelled. All people are under the curse of sin and death today. Because of Adam’s sin we have a sin nature (predisposed to sin) and actively commit sins. We both have an inward heart problem and outward problem of obedience. We both desire sin and act on that desire. This is a problem. This is the bad news before the good news. We are not right before God because of our sin. But. What a beautiful word. But God the Father in mercy because of his love for us sent Christ that through his perfect life of obedience in our place he serves as a substitute for us by taking God’s wrath upon himself at the Cross. His life, death, burial, and resurrection are crucial. By his resurrection we know that the Father accepted the payment of Christ for our sin and that Jesus spoke the truth. This free gift (grace) is for those that repent (turn away from sin) and believe (trust) in Christ that he has paid for their sins. The gospel is truly good news that those who rest in Christ have their sins forgiven, which restores their relationship with God. Eternal life is better than living forever. Jesus tells us (John 17:3) that eternal life is to know God. To truly know him intimately as Father because Christians are now adopted sons and daughters of God in Christ. Christians desire to be in heaven because they love God and desire to be with him.
On this walk many paths part ways. Some eventually find their end together. Some never will meet again. Friend, may we be on the same side of eternity. Take a moment with this concluding hymn and reflect on the majesties of who our God is and what he has done.
The Perfect Wisdom Of Our God
The perfect wisdom of our God
Revealed in all the universe:
All things created by His hand
And held together at His command.
He knows the mysteries of the seas,
The secrets of the stars are His;
He guides the planets on their way
And turns the earth through another day.
The matchless wisdom of His ways
That mark the path of righteousness;
His word a lamp unto my feet,
His Spirit teaching and guiding me.
And O the mystery of the cross,
That God should suffer for the lost,
So that the fool might shame the wise,
And all the glory might go to Christ!
O grant me wisdom from above,
To pray for peace and cling to love,
And teach me humbly to receive
The sun and rain of Your sovereignty.
Each strand of sorrow has a place
Within this tapestry of grace;
So through the trials I choose to say:
“Your perfect will in Your perfect way.”
Jacob, of Crestwood, Ky., is a member of the McConnell Scholar Class of 2024 at the University of Louisville. He plans to study civil engineering and political science.