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It was 7:15 AM, and the tension was high. My sister sat at the table
fully dressed and ready, while I scrambled to get myself together. I had
overslept—yet again. By the time we were down the street from my
house, I realized with a sinking feeling that I had forgotten to grab my
makeup bag. Despite being too scared to say anything, turning back
wasn’t an option; with only 15 minutes to make the 13-minute drive,
we were already cutting it close.
As I sat in the passenger seat, an internal spiral began. Every day for
the past two years, I hadn’t gone to school without wearing makeup.
How was I supposed to face the day?
That day, I walked into class feeling exposed and tense. I felt completely out of place, avoiding
familiar faces and taking alternate routes to escape notice. Yet, to my surprise, no one seemed
to see me any differently. I began to wonder if my bare face was far less shocking to others than
it felt to me. Slowly, I realized that I was the only one hyper-aware of my appearance.
On the way home, I told my sister how anxious I had felt throughout the day. After spending the
entire drive that morning reassuring me that no one would notice and that everything would be
fine, she simply gave me a side-eye and said “I told you so.”. Her quiet confidence contrasted
sharply with the panic I had carried all day. Still, I couldn’t shake the deeper question: why did I
feel such a strong need to wear makeup every day? It wasn’t something I particularly enjoyed,
nor did I truly have time for it in the mornings, yet I consistently forced it into my routine. In
search of answers, I decided to go the following week without makeup.
That week helped me realize that my confidence did not rely solely on the polished image I
presented to others. I came to understand that the expectation of perfection I had imposed on
myself was a distorted version of confidence. While choosing not to wear makeup for a week
seemed like a small feat, it not only saved me time each morning but also reshaped the way I
saw myself. I learned that who I was was defined by all aspects of myself, not just the visible
ones.
Honette is a McConnell Scholar in the class of 2029. She is studying business
economics and political science.