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| Janna Imel |
By Janna Imel, Class of 2014
I successfully completed my first unassisted mediation on Friday. When I first began, I immediately knew I was in over my head (which apparently is the usual first reaction). Before the mediation, I was given a brief case file. The file stated that two employees had engaged in an argument and needed to resolve their issues as they would be working together in the future. My first reaction was that this case would be easy. I assumed the mediation would take no more than 45 minutes, if that. I was wrong.
When the two clients entered the room, I immediately sensed the hostility. I soon found out that a "minor argument" had not occurred. In fact, the two clients had engaged in a physical altercation. To make matters more difficult, the two had been friends for over a decade. It turns out that a decade of just "playing around" and "joking" with one another had created a pit of aggression, distrust, and loss of respect. The most recent situation had gone so far that one of the clients was threatening legal action. I was not prepared for this.
The tension was so high within the first 10 minutes that the person bringing the complaint stood up and said he wanted the mediation to end. I explained that we could end and it was his decision, but then asked if it would help matters. I thought this would be a great time to break into individual caucus. Each individual caucus took about 40 minutes a piece. After hearing from both clients, I realized that they were so similar and had a lot of common ground that was not being recognized. Each had the same end goal in mind, had similar backgrounds, but could not recognize each other's hurt. When both clients sat down together after the caucus, we broke through the wall. They were open-minded and honest. I witnessed true progress being made. Tears were shed, friendships were mended, and goals were set. To be honest, I felt kind of useless toward the end of the mediation because I was sitting back silently. The two clients were able to discuss things openly and in a civilized manner without my help.
At the end, they set 3 goals to work on in the coming weeks. Obviously, with all of the pent up emotions and underlying issues, the two might have to revisit this process in the future. Everything cannot be solved in one session, nor in one week. Respect and trust will take a long time to form again, but the two are quite optimistic.
After the mediation ended, I felt as if I had just run a marathon. I let out a huge sigh of relief. I was quite surprised that I had been able to help restore a friendship and working relationship in lieu of the huge situations that were thrown out at the beginning of the mediation. When you run a marathon (or at least when I do), I feel like I'm in over my head around mile 3. Not even 10 minutes into this mediation, I had the same feeling. Around mile 16, you hit a wall and after your adrenaline kicks in, you bust through it. We definitely hit a wall in this mediation. The clients said they refused to be open-minded and that nothing could be done to fix this situation. After individual caucus, we broke through that wall hard. For the next 10 miles, you coast on your adrenaline and become ever more encouraged as the end is in sight. The rest of the mediation flowed well and we knew we were reaching a common end. After you cross that finish line and after you have resolved your issues, there is nothing but smiles. Smiles and adrenaline. Adrenaline that keeps you going the rest of the day as you constantly tell yourself, "I can't believe I really did that."
Janna Imel, of Greenup, Ky., is a senior McConnell Scholar at the University of Louisville. She is studying psychology and political science.