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| Natasha Mundkur Class of 2019 |
Binky was the first sense of security she ever had. Blue, pink, and yellow fabric meshed together like a yawing rainbow awakening from a spring shower. Her mother always said that Binky infantilized her, entrancing her in a world of a personified existence that prevented her from growing and facing reality. It was the first thing ever taken away from her, robbing her of her adolescence.
She would remember a time on the hill, chasing the birds and flying free on top of the world with Binky following on her shoulders. She snuck Binky into the creek, to cloak her shiver from the frigid waters leaping onto her skin. It was later forced into the big black hole that unsoiled its soaked fibers. She apologized for ever hurting it; it would never shine the same again.
She can remember as a child hating every visible feature the world could criticize. Her skin, complemented with kisses of melanin, gave her a sense of inferiority. She never saw herself in the idealized image of beauty she so badly wanted to mirror. She dreamed of having the pale porcelain complexion of the barbies she ruined, or looking like Sandy with the flawless ringlets of hair that were bathed in bleach blonde perfection. All the boys liked Sandy. But that did not matter to her, for Binky made her feel perfect in every way she felt lesser. She would wear its soft cotton comfort like a cape that allowed her to see the hero in herself.
Maybe it was the reason she had no friends. But she paid no mind to the world, except beneath the soft, quilted comfort of her Binky. That is the beauty of youthhood. Nothing, and everything, is real and fake all at the same time in the eyes of a child. Maybe children are the leading intellectuals among us all. They exist not only in the world they see, but the world they can imagine. Our best friends are what bring us joy and comfort and allow us to be the people we wish others could see.
Natasha Mundkur, of Louisville, Ky., is a junior McConnell Scholar studying political science, marketing, Spanish, and international business.