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Individuals who exhibit a sense of confidence through their interactions with others tend to be thought of as just that, confident. Society has formulated this idea that confidence, power, enjoyability, and whatever other attractive adjective you want to use comes from one source, extroverts. As the literal opposite of what society deems as worthy of compliments, awards, and recognition, I find this categorization ignorantly wrong. Why is it that I must be the loudest one in the room to be linked with the trait of being self-assured? Why do I have to prioritize my interactions with others over my solitude, where I use that space to reflect and recharge? To these requirements from society, I say that for me to be respected, heard, and admired, I do not have to change the way I personally interact with others. I will not fall into that social trap.
My awareness of my disagreement towards this idea of being forced out of my introvert stature so I could be liked, or even to be successful, was from my difficulty in learning among groups. I am grateful that the University has offered such resourceful tools for students to utilize, such as the PAL tutoring sessions. However, I dislike the lack of accommodating functionalities within the system. Trying to grasp concepts that I have not understood among a group of endless questions and comments, pushed my focus away from learning the material and towards matching the energy that my fellow classmates showcased.
I later learned, after reading a research project from a student in the Belknap Academic Building, this disconnect that introverts feel when learning in group settings is completely normal and should be considered when studying. Introverts strive more from studying intensely within their own space, because they have time that isn’t rushed to process their intimate thoughts. As a freshman who is new to college life, it was highly recommended to study among group settings. In fact, one of my professors provided efficiency statistics to support this method. I doubt these studies were done in the specificity of personality. Because of that, we see a bias towards outgoing students when academic suggestions take place. In general, academics overlook the needs of those who struggle to find a space to share their intimate, brilliant ideas.
As a person who genuinely enjoys the aspect of school and obtaining knowledge, this frustrated me. Going against my foundation of reservation, took away that joy of learning from me. I had to reflect on what it means to be an academic, to reassure myself that in fact, it was society that that created this unaccommodating and exclusive idea of what education looks like. From my high school experience on the Kentucky Department of Education’s Commissioner’s Student Advisory Council, I spent a lot of time fighting for equitable education for students within the Commonwealth. Now that I have gained a deeper understanding of the disadvantage that has been put on introverts within academics, I can now fight for equitable education for the mental differences that set students apart alongside the physical. This newfound awareness of this issue has pushed me to start the solution with myself. In order for me to be an advocate for equitable education along the lines of learning and social styles, I have to start by embracing my own introverted learning and social style.
Learning this, I have become more appreciative of my reserved nature than I had been at the beginning of the semester. My thoughts and actions desperately attempted to follow the agenda of the outspoken, but now I have found ways to develop my own sense of confidence through actions that reflect my demure. My ability to empathize with others provides me with those connections that I was afraid I would miss if I didn’t constantly spend time with others. My ability to write vulnerably and imaginatively allows others to hear my brilliant thoughts without me constantly having to speak to them into large spaces. I have developed ways to showcase who I am as a scholar, creator, student, and friend in ways that bring me security and pride. The trick, as writer Susan Cain suggests, is for me to honor my style instead of being swept up by prevailing norm.
Anna Williams is a McConnell Scholar in the class of 2025. She is studying biology at the University of Louisville.