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“Why are you so happy all of the time? It’s really annoying.”
The first time I remember being insecure about being optimistic was freshman year of high school when someone blatantly asked me this one day while waiting for band class to start. I was stunned, and I didn’t know how to answer. I went silent (a rare occurrence) and as the sound of instruments warming up filled the band room, so did my embarrassment as I reflected on my past interactions and doubted my friendships. Those thirteen words have been etched in my brain ever since. Throughout high school I found myself trying to tone down my positivity in an effort to fit in with my peers. The last thing I wanted was to be annoying.
I’m pretty sure I came out of the womb with a glass (or a bottle) half-full. For as long as I can remember, I have been the one my friends go to when they need a positive perspective on things. It has always been easy for me to find good in even the worst of situations. However, living in this pessimistic world of ours, my optimism has become one of my biggest insecurities.
In the past few years, I have worked to overcome my insecurities of seeming “annoyingly happy”. I realized my personal mindset has no effect on others, so why should I care what they think of me anyway? Being an optimist isn’t just a constant state of happiness, it's a mindset of knowing that no matter what is thrown at you now, there are better days ahead. It is much easier persevering through one chapter of our lives knowing in the next we will be in a much better place. I am not happy all of the time (my friends and family can surely attest) but I make sure to keep a positive attitude and a smile on my face. What is the good in griping about your woes when you have the power to change your mindset?
It is incredibly presumptuous of me to just say, “Change your mindset!” and then expect you to go on with life totally changed and renewed. I understand how hard it is to get out of the negativity that surrounds us. Something that often changes my outlook on things is my personal mantra, “That’s just a chapter for my memoir.” I use it quite frequently when anything, good or bad, comes my way. The best memoirs always include a challenge of some kind, and it helps put things in perspective knowing that everything I involve myself in essentially works toward my future. It is very grounding to look at a bad experience, say “Well, that’s just a chapter for my memoir” and go on to another adventure. In reality, I have no plans on writing a memoir any time soon, but the act of intentionally looking at the journey ahead instead of focusing on instant negative outcomes is a good exercise to stop worried thoughts from taking over.
Overcoming insecurity is something I have to work at every day. At the beginning of the year, I was nervous to start college being my true self. But I am thankful I decided to stay true to who I am. As a result, I have found friends who appreciate my positivity and have had opportunities I never would have had before. I am eager to see how this semester will end knowing that whatever comes my way- not to fret; that’s just a chapter for my memoir.
Mallory Slucher is a McConnell Scholar in the class of 2025. She is studying political science and Arabic at the University of Louisville.