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| Leah Hazelwood ('21 |
“It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom,
it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief,
it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of Light,
it was the season of Darkness,
it was the spring of hope,
it was the winter of despair,”
it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom,
it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief,
it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of Light,
it was the season of Darkness,
it was the spring of hope,
it was the winter of despair,”
The opening line from Charles
Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities encapsulates
my freshman year of college better than any of my words ever could.
Let’s
start from the top:
“It was the best of times”
Nothing compares to the rush I
get from spending my days in Louisville. From seeing a new person everyday to
casually seeing friends on the street, I revel in every moment I spend here and
savor every step I take across campus. The opportunities afforded to me are immense
and the ability to dive into my passions are always right in front of me. I am
wholly myself here, I no longer feel the need to conform to what is around me
because there is so much around me. Diversity permeates here in ethnicity,
race, gender identity, sexuality, and thought.
“It
was the worst of times”
Failure was always foreign to
me in high school. This was not the case in college. I applied for positions in
clubs and I did not get them. I applied for jobs and I did not get them. I
studied day and night and still could not pull off A’s in certain classes. It
was terrible. My worst times fell upon me when failure hit and the only person I had to rely on for comfort was myself. As independent as I thought I was,
nothing compared to facing my roughest times with individuals in the same
positions as me. No family to cry to,
only peers who had their own struggles to sort through. Failure is the worst
but makes us grow into our best selves.
“It
was the age of wisdom”
Education is a virtue and the
classes I have taken have taught me so much about the world. From Pan-African
Studies to Economics, I feel like wisdom courses through the veins of my
professors. Whether I agree with them or not, I know that their wisdom is at my
fingertips. Beyond this though, I have found wisdom in Ms. Esther at the Ville
Grill, wisdom in Mr. Jim at McAllister’s Deli, and wisdom in Renee and Deauria
through She Became and so many others.
“It
was the age of foolishness”
“Leah, I know you want to do
everything, but you can’t, this isn’t high school” A sentiment expressed by
my mother after a taxing two months into my first semester. I called her and
casually told her how I would occasionally forget to eat and sleep and sometimes
I felt like I was losing my mind. In foolishly signing up for nearly every
organization that piqued my interest, I lost parts of my own health. I
couldn’t imagine a day that wasn’t plagued with stress and it was affecting
more than just me. My relationships, my grades, and my
interests all suffered. I was a fool in taking on too much at once, but a
pivotal moment occurred when I realized my foolishness was common and necessary
to move along.
“It
was the epoch of belief”
Belief is a beautiful thing
that had never been a large part in my life prior to entering college. I have
always known who I am as a person but knowing a person and believing in a
person are two different things. I did not start believing in myself and my abilities
until I got here. Earlier in life I accounted all my achievements and awards to
luck, I had just been “in the right place at the right time” …now I have
realized how hard I work to earn the accolades I have. While I believe in the
power of luck, I believe in myself more.
“It
was the epoch of incredulity”
Question everything. I took my
first and probably last philosophy class this semester. While this class
was extremely grueling and like nothing I have ever taken before, it taught me
to question everything. Question the behaviors I have adopted, question the
biases I hold, heck, question the beliefs I hold. A world without questioning
would be dull and uneventful and that is not a world I want to live in.
“It
was the season of light”
I have found a light in every
person I have met on this campus, and while some lights are brighter than
others, they are lights regardless. I have found my lights in Chi Omega, in
Kurz Hall, in She Became, in Student Orientation Staff, and in all the nooks
and crannies of my life. Thank you for your light.
“It
was the season of darkness”
Through my membership in the
Service Living Learning Community I have realized the world is not at all
sunshine and rainbows… no matter how much I attempt to cover it as such. While I
have never been naïve enough to believe the world is perfect, I
thought I was removed from the “real issues”. I thought that there were far more
unjustifiable occurrences happening in other cities, states, and countries. I thought
that this community did not have the right to complain. I felt isolated from
what mattered and with isolation comes stagnation. Growing up in a small town, it is easy to become entranced with issues that are only related to oneself. Volunteering for organizations across Louisville has made me realize how dark
the world is and how much work needs to be done to make it brighter.
“It
was the spring of hope”
Hope sprang anew, again, and
again, and again, this year. This brief year has filled me with so
much hope for my future. So much hope and so many aspirations that I have
changed or tweaked my majors and minors at least six times. Yes, six times. The
girl who seemed to have it all figured out in high school is as indecisive as
absolutely no one expected. One trip to Harvard’s Kennedy School made my hopes
to work in public policy appear and the hopes I held of being a lawyer
disappear. Hope is springing eternal in this life of mine.
“It
was the winter of despair”
My winter of despair in my
short college career came this Spring, in realizing that this will all come to
an end sooner than I could have ever imagined. I am privileged to attend a university but I am even more privileged to attend a
university where I am supported by my mentors and loved by my peers. In the blink of an eye this year passed; these next three
years will surely be a staring contest between the world and I to see
who will blink first. I refuse to miss another moment.
Leah Hazelwood, of Lebanon, Ky., is first-year McConnell Scholar at the University of Louisville where she plans to study political science, race/gender studies and Spanish.