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“Who you surround yourself with is who you become”
It's cliche, but that’s because it is true. We all grew up hearing it from our parents, or teachers,
or wholesome 90’s sitcoms (looking at you, Full House). But, to the future Class of 2029, as you
enter into your freshman year, let this sit with you.
As I entered my freshman year of college four years ago, I wish I knew just how important my
friends would become. How asking a girl to get breakfast with me before my geoscience class
one day would bloom into one of the sweetest friendships I have ever had. How I would find
people who truly understood me, and whom I sought to understand.
It was so fun to find a group of friends that shared a similar sense of humor and taste in music,
but even more, it was a blessing that these friends shared a similar set of values as me. Before
you start college, I want to challenge you to reflect on the personal values that shape you. For
example, a few of mine are my faith, optimism, peace, trust, and warmth. Spending time with
people that enriched these values has helped me stay true to myself and the person I wish to
become.
However, this may leave you asking, even though I have surrounded myself with people who
have similar values, how do I know if I’m surrounding myself with good people?
Trust your gut. Seriously, ask yourself, “how does my nervous system feel after I’ve spent time
with them?” If you leave a majority of your interactions feeling uneasy, that is a sign to distance
yourself. You deserve to be around people who lift you up and leave you feeling good. This was
a hard lesson for me to learn, but trying to force some of these friendships unfortunately led to
more hurt in the long run.
To that end, don’t freak out if you don’t feel like you have met your “people” the first day, week,
or even your first semester of your freshman year. Meeting people who align with similar values
as you is a process that takes time. It requires an intentionality and connection that can’t be
rushed. Your first semester, I encourage you to just be open to meeting new people, making
new friends, and learning more about yourself and your personal values in the process.
In the end, among internships, classes, and study abroad experiences, navigating friendships
was one of the hardest aspects of college. Throughout these last four years, I have learned that
having a strong sense of self, or rather, a strong understanding of where my values lie, is
fundamental to developing friendships that have helped lead me into the person you I strive to
become. So as they say, “who you surround yourself with is who you become.” Who do you
wish to become? This simple answer could define your college experience.
Mallory Slucher is a McConnell Scholar in the class of 2025. She is studying political science, Arabic, and Middle Eastern and Islamic Studies.